A busy Saturday...

Today was a beautiful day in OKC! The temp was a wonderful 75 degrees. I spent the the first part of morning with Fletcher and then I went to a women's brunch at our pastors home. It was so nice to be with my sweet friends from church. After the brunch I went back to be with Fletcher. Since Craig went to the game the rest of us went to Mimi's to 'watch' the game. The weather was so beautiful we spent the rest of the afternoon outside. Here are a few pictures of my girls with their cousin Megan. All in all it was great day!

Here we go...

Thanks to everyone who commented or emailed about my last post. That post was written by a heart that was hurting. I have struggled a lot today about how I feel about how you all feel. Some have said I should educate those who have a hard time seeing Fletcher, others have been shocked like I was at the reaction we received yesterday. (Unfortunately, yesterday was not the first time we have encountered people like this) I KNOW I should take the higher ground and say sweet things to ignorant onlookers and hopefully I will. But on the other hand, why should I have to teach people that it's not polite to stare, didn't their mothers teach them that? Mine did. So, here are a few things I've thought about that I'd like to teach people, 1) Do not stare, instead smile. 2) Do not pity us, instead respect us. Fletcher is my child I love him as much as I love my other children, he's not different to me. I love my child just like you love your child. 3) Please feel free to ask me questions. As I'm sure it's obvious I love to talk about Fletcher, he's one of my favorite subjects, so I really don't mind when people ask me questions about him. But, think about the question before you ask it. An inappropriate question would be: 'WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM????' or 'WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM??? and please do not say, 'Poor baby!!!' Please do not feel sorry for him. Fletcher is great! He's fun. We are thankful he is alive! An appropriate question would be, 'How old is he?' That is probably what I would ask you about your child. Then we can start a conversation and you can find out more about my son. 4) Please don't take this opportunity to be thankful that your child is NOT like Fletcher. Even though Fletcher has medical problems, doesn't mean we're not thankful for him. We wanted another child when we had Fletcher, he just happened to be a sick little guy. Again, we are thankful he is alive. We are thankful to be his parents, honored actually. I would like for you not to take your child for granted and enjoy every little thing, like a crying baby, oh how I miss the sound of Fletcher's voice. When they walk and are into everything, oh how I wish Fletcher was getting into everything. When they talk too much, oh how I wish I knew what Fletcher had to say. When they want to eat all the time, oh how I wish Fletcher enjoyed eating! Please know that I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad and I'm not being sarcastic in the things I'm saying in this post. I've obviously thought about this a lot today. I feel like I can't gripe about something if I'm not willing to offer a solution. So, here it is, please don't treat us any differently than you would anyone else. The Bible tells us, 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.' That's all I'm asking.

Fletcher's sweet heart...

Today Fletcher had an appointment with his cardiologist, Dr. Razook. He had an echocardiogram and an EKG. And Fletcher's heart is doing great! Praise the Lord! For some of my new blogging friends, Fletcher has IHSS (Idiopathic Hypertrophic Subaortic Stenosis) and on November 10, 2005 when he was just ten months old he had open heart surgery to repair the stenosis. The surgery was a success and literally saved his life. There is always a chance that the stenosis could come back so he has regular echo's and EKG's. Fletcher was a toot today at his appointment and Dr. Razook asked him, 'do you treat all doctors like this?' and I said, 'yep, pretty much!' Anyway, when we go to the doctor an EMT takes us in a handicap accessible van, drops Fletcher, an RT and me off at the appointment and when we call him he comes back for us. Today we had a bit of a wait after our appointment so we waited in the lobby. As we were waiting two little girls about 8 and 10 years old noticed Fletcher. So over they came and just stood there and stared at him. This is, of course, very annoying and heart wrenching all at the same time. Soon their mother came over and said, 'See, it's a baby. Don't worry I'm sure it's mother is used to people staring.' Unfortunately I said nothing hoping they would just go away. But they didn't. I wish I would have said, 'I will NEVER get used to people staring at my sweet son!' One of the sad things about this few minutes in our day is that Fletcher was extremely mad and it didn't help the staring and the asking of a million questions that we're being thrown in our faces. I'm guessing that when people see Fletcher they are shocked, they don't have any idea of 'what happened to him' they are afraid maybe (of a two and a half year old?) I don't know. I don't know how I want them to act or ask or look. Sometimes I just want to scream and say he's a baby please quit staring at him, he's a person just like you with feelings. Stop staring! I DO want people to look beyond his skin, beyond the tubing and wires and ventilator and see him. He's amazing, he's smart, he's funny! That few minutes made me forget the good report we had just gotten from the doctor. That few minutes dashed a lot of my hopes and dreams of Fletcher having a normal life. Sometimes I imagine that Fletcher will be able to breathe on his own and that he'll come home to live with us, that he'll go to the same school with Maddie and make friends and that things will be normal for all of us. That few minutes crushed that dream today. It made me ask a lot of questions that I don't and probably won't have answers until the time is right. All evening I've been telling myself, to be in today and trust Fletcher to Jesus. Only the Lord knows the plans He has for Fletcher. I have to hang on to that and know that the Lord loves Fletcher even more than I do.

One more thing before I close, Fletcher WILL have eye surgery on Monday, September 17th at 7:45 am. We'd greatly appreciate your prayers. Fletcher had this same eye surgery on October 18, 2006 and that surgery wasn't successful please pray that it will be this time. Thanks so much!

Feeding time...

As we all know feeding time hasn't been going so well. Last week I asked if I could try feeding Fletcher at a different time of day, thinking maybe too much is happening in the morning. So, today we fed him at noon and it went extremely well! Maddie fed Fletcher most of his food and he loved it! And she loved feeding him! Fletcher was so happy and he laughed and ate almost all of his food. What a great afternoon we had!

Fletcher still isn't back to his normal happy self but he seems better than he was. He's been to class the last two days and it's been pretty tough, today being better than yesterday. He starts out okay but by the time it's time for me to leave he's starting to get fussy and today they had to bag him two times. Anyway all that to say please continue to pray that things will get back to normal. I hate that he's having a hard time in class. Each day they sing songs and each child gets to pick which song they want to sing. The teacher will ask, 'who wants to go first' and Fletcher almost always raises his hand! I was able to get a picture of him raising his hand yesterday!

We've lost tooth number two!

Maddie has been wiggling one of her bottom teeth for a few days. Craig tried about four times today to pull it and it just wasn't ready. Well, right before bed Craig gave it one more try and sure enough Maddie has lost her second tooth! That was about an hour ago and she's still awake, too excited to sleep. Note to self, don't pull teeth right before bed! Maddie also wanted to call her cousin EmiLee to let her know she had 'another gone tooth'! Her words not mine!

Let's see...

It's been a busy day! Fletcher had a dentist appointment this morning so I arrived at the Center at about 8:15. When I got there they told me Fletcher and all his little buddies were moving to different units. Fletcher is now in Unit 7 right next to our friend, Andrew! Yea! Okay, so back to the dentist, Dr. King comes to the Center once a month to see TCC kids. Fletcher has about 3 loose teeth, yes, my two and a half year old son has several loose teeth! Dr. King said 'Fletcher's alveolar bone seems mobile.' Well, Fletcher was not really happy to be at the dentist and I was just trying to get him out of there before we had a situation on our hands, so I did not ask the appropriate questions. For instance, what the heck is an alveolar bone? And should it be mobile? Will his permanent teeth be mobile also? Are you kidding me? So, I talked with one of the nurse practitioners and she was clueless also and said she would look into it. So, we'll see. Dr. King said Fletcher's teeth are loose, but not about to fall out unless he gets hit or we tug on them. I told him we would stop hitting Fletcher. (j/k) I did tell Dr. King that I was NOT emotionally ready for Fletcher to loose his teeth, he said they would only pull them if he thought they were so loose that Fletcher might swallow one. You guys, I was not ready for Maddie to loose her first tooth and she's five! I keep telling myself, this is not about me. I really don't want him to be in danger, so if they have to come out so be it. Not my will, but Yours be done, right? Right! Here are a couple of pictures of Fletcher from today, during one of his 'good moments'. He's such a hoot!

Well, it looks like the 'EYE DRAMA' might be coming to an end. Fletcher will have surgery on September 17th at 7:45 am. Please pray with us that the doctors will have wisdom and this time the surgery will be a success, that it will open his sweet little eye. He deserves for his eye to be opened! I will also be praying, like I always do, that the people who come in contact with Fletcher that day will treat him like they would treat their own child with compassion, respect and dignity!

Kayleigh has had a busy week also. She had two test this week and feels like she knew the material and did well on each test. She is also very involved with the youth at church. Last week she went to a football game with a friend and had a blast. That was a hard one for Craig and me, letting her go and hang out with friends, but she's a good girl and we trust her. Tonight she is spending the night with one of her best friends.

Today at Maddie's school they had 'Hat Day' she paid a dollar and was able to wear a hat. Also, today she was able to hang out with her Aunt Kristi. Kristi was off today and offered to pick Maddie up from school so I could spend some time with Fletcher. It turned out to be great day for her to go with her aunt, seeing how busy today ended up being! Thank you, Kristi!

Where did that come from...

When Maddie was in PreK she experienced anxiety almost everyday when I would leave her. Since she started Kindergarten she has been such a big girl. She hugs and kisses me goodbye and then I leave. Until this morning, when I TRIED to leave she would not let go of me, she told me she didn't like Kindergarten and she said she wanted to stay with me. She had a complete meltdown! I had to leave her crying with her teacher. It was heart wrenching! When I picked her up she was perfectly fine, of course. I asked her what happened this morning and she said, "I think since I got to be with you all day for four days I just wanted to stay with you some more. I guess." Maddie just cracks me up sometimes!

Fletcher is still having some hard times. He is not desating, but he is having moments of being mad, irritable, sad (crying with real tears and a puffed out lip) and he has started hitting! My sweet baby boy is hitting! When he is in the middle of one of his 'moments' he will hit whoever is trying to soothe him. Craig and I were able to spend a lot of time with him this weekend and he was grumpy for most of the time we were there! Here are a few pictures of us trying to make Fletcher happy. As you can see it just didn't happen. I think he is going through withdrawal from the weaning of the Methadone and Valium. Craig and I would appreciate your prayers on behalf of Fletcher. We have gotten so used to the 'Happy Fletcher' and the way he's acting now reminds us of when he was little and very sick. That makes us really sad.